Yes, I would like some cheese with my whine today

This weird world of blogging and vlogging had me so convinced I had the perfect job to be a work from home mom.

HAH! Silly child. I’ve definitely written that exact same sentence above 10 times in various blog posts on this site.

😇

Currently, I’m on the cape.

Last week, I was back in Boston for a tooth filling that I had to schedule two months out because the dentist I go to is apparently that busy. Turns out, during the two months it got worse and the dentist said I need a root canal and then a crown.

Great, because I already had a ton of spare time to sit in a dentist chair for two days worth of work.

My insurance is weird and no one carries it. Cue scramble to find a good doc to do a root canal… that takes over an entire day. Get said procedure done by an amazing practice above Citizens Bank on Boylston to then find out your insurance is exhausted and you will now have to have original “busy” dentist provide a crown that will cost approx $2300 out of pocket as well as an additional 2 dentist appointments that will take at least 3.5 hours total. You’ll also need to a babysitter for the two appointments for at least 5 hours, add an additional $100.

On top of this fun that I’ve been scheduling, I also have a toddler who sleeps for like 90 minutes a day, just enough for me to answer emails and maybe start a blog post. Emails are getting backed up. Dates are being forgotten and phone calls are nonexistent. Who has times for those anyway?

Tommy no longer let’s me run with him and I don’t really have time to work out because I’m so behind with my work. By the end of the day, I’m so exhausted from carrying a 30 lb kettle bell child everywhere that I just want to sit on the couch with a glass of wine and go to bed by 9 pm. It’s now 10 pm and I’m writing this post.

I am struggling to fit in workouts without my babysitting at the gym. I miss my gym and studios. Do I want to pay a babysitter to come over so I can workout? I guess I do but if I’m paying someone to watch Tommy, I’d rather be doing work.

I stopped nursing too and just feel like Ive put on 10 lbs in the past week from stress, lack of workouts and dedication to wine and chocolate to manage said stress.

I’m looking forward to fall already when it won’t be 80F in Boston and I can actually enjoy being in the city again. I’m also planning to hire help more regularly since we didn’t get into any schools and momma needs to work.

I’ve been saying this for like a year but I mean it this time.

Fit momming is doable with my city set up. Cape life, not so much. Makes me not want to leave the city that much more and hire a full-time sitter here in the cape for the rest of the summer or go back to our un-air conditioned city apartment.

Maybe I should put the summer sitter money towards a good window AC for the city?

But I enjoy the cape so much when I’m not working and so does Tommy. When we go to the beach, it’s the best. I can relax and Tommy has a blast. It is tough balancing what I want, what I should be doing for work and what I should be doing for Tommy. Obviously what I want usually doesn’t happen which is why I haven’t been working out. Nick is in the city and we alternate on the weekends who gets to sleep in so I only have one morning to actually workout on my own if I choose. In the city he would go in to work at 9 vs 7:30/8 so I could take classes once a week. But down here, I have no classes to go to or anyone to watch Tommy for me to do a workout on my own outside… hence the nap time workouts I post on Instagram which I’ve had to stop because I have to use nap time for work. If only Tommy would be chill and sit and watch me workout?! lol….

I almost deleted this post before hitting publish and decided, no, I’m gonna publish because so many of you left amazing comments on my Momming Ain’t Easy Instagram today. If this comes across as whining, I’m sorry. Feel free to blast me in the comments. I’m trying to do the best I can. I’m allowed to vent and really I’m only publicly lamenting so someone else doesn’t think they can be a work from home mom and have it “easy.”

xoxo to all the Work From Home Moms who feel guilty never giving their full attention to their work or child. Some days are hard and tomorrow we will feel better.

Yes, I would like some cheese with my whine today

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27 Comments

  • C
    Reply

    Amen. I’ve been a SAHM and a working mom and I don’t think I could work from home without hiring help. My 1.5 year old has never had an ounce of chill, not a second in her life. People post pictures and videos of their kids chilling or calmly playing or reading independently and it’s basically foreign to me. If my kid did that, it feels like momming would be much easier, lol. Or those workout videos where people workout with their kid. She’d never let me do that. Only workout I can ever get in nowadays is stroller strides, and that’s only by plying her with snacks the entire hour. Nap time length is too variable and I need that time for things like showers and eating lunch, since my zero chill child doesn’t give me much of a chance to do those while she’s awake. My husband stays up until midnight to workout. I need the sleep or I get sick. The struggle is so real. Whine away.

  • Nikki
    Reply

    Beautiful and real. someone told me once, “fitness, family, friends, nutrition, and work. pick 3. you never get all 5 at the same time”. I thought it was horribly pessimistic at the time, but honestly it’s kind of real. You just don’t get all 5, but you can rotate which 3 you get depending on your needs at the time. And I think there’s a lot of happiness to be found in that realization.

  • Kimberly Karpinski
    Reply

    I feel ya girl! I do not work from home but the days I have off with my 11 month old son are so busy! You are doing an amazing job! Feel free to vent anytime! It’s allowed!

  • Tami
    Reply

    Hi Sarah! My son is the same age as yours and we live in Western Mass. I have a work from home job and let me tell you, I feel your pain! I worked from home with my son until he was 15 months old in April when I enrolled him in a community preschool here and it has been the best decision! He goes 3 days a week so I get as much work done as possible on the days he is at school so I can be a bit more lax on the days he is home with me. Idk about Tommy, but my guy HATES when I am on my computer working and not giving my full attention to him. Having him in school has given us so much more balance. I’m less stressed and he gets all the benefits of being in a social environment. I just wanted to say I totally feel your pain and definitely agree that some days are harder than others but hang in there :)

    • Sarah
      Reply

      Thanks Tami! I wish we had a school to send Tommy to! We applied to the only one he was old enough for and didn’t get a spot… city living has its pluses and minuses like all set ups.

  • Beth
    Reply

    Love this post. Regardless of whether you work at home, or not, or you have kids or not, sometimes you just a get a string of things that make for some rough days. And you are right, it’s not to say you aren’t grateful for your circumstances, or you want a pity party, it’s just that sometimes a good vent session and a good night’s sleep can be all you need in order to reset!

  • Jen
    Reply

    I don’t have blog so I don’t know what’s needed or what it takes. I saw that you mentioned that Tommy closes the laptop when you are trying to type, have you thought about getting a speech to text program so that you can speak what you want to say and then just have to edit? I have no idea if something like that will work.

    When I worked from home and my kids were little, I was able to keep the work on those days easy -- I hustled when I was in the office -- I had the “luxury” of going to the office a few days to hustle through, you don’t have that. I think you’ll find your grove again with Tommy’s new schedule. Enjoy your summer, it’s so nice that you have the Cape available to you, soak it up. He truly is only little once. I hate to say this but I found the toddler years the hardest to multi task, or get things done. There attention span is so short that you barely start something and they are finished with what was engaging in that moment. Although, I have told people that it is harder to be a working parent when they go to school (9-5 set up), because if they want to participate in anything you have to be around.

    You’re doing great balancing it all!! I wish I had this blog when my kids were little.

  • Jenny
    Reply

    I get it!! The ONLY way to do this with small kids at home is to get a sitter. I work from home 25 hours per week. Once they are in school, you have like 6-7 hours per day to yourself, but even then, you have to coordinate care for the summer (my summer plan is a sitter 7 hours per day, 3 days per week… I felt very guilty at first, but the days I have off with the kids are SO good and I am able to focus on work when I have the sitter). When my girls were not in school (or even preschool -- which is really only a few hours a week anyway), I had to get a sitter in order to work (and I really only worked very little then -- 10 hours/wk maybe). Also, like you, I want to work out every day. Years ago, in order to exercise, I had to go at 5 or 6am (and can only do that if husband isn’t traveling) or I would do a video at home while the kids watched tv. It’s way too hard for a 2-3 year old to focus on a show for any length of time, so I get that! Sometimes I’d have to workout at 7:30 after they went to bed (I put them to bed super early). Most often, I get up at the ass crack (even now) just to get in a workout. I have zero time to myself unless it’s after everyone is sleeping, because any time I have without the kids is spent working. It’s all good…. but it’s TOUGH. Not easy at all! I won’t compromise my workouts and I can’t compromise my work, so sleep is the first to go. MORE COFFEE! Hang in there!! xoxo

  • Maria
    Reply

    So true, Mom life is so hard sometimes !!!! And I’m pregnant again and sometimes wonder how the hell am I going to do this. I’m typing this as my baby is dumping the dog bowls.

  • Christen
    Reply

    This definitely isn’t whining! I appreciate you’re being real and sharing the definite frustrations that all moms feel at different parts of motherhood. I think the best thing to do is to sit down and figure out what you really want. Do you need someone to come three mornings a week to fit in a workout and some work time? Whatever is most important to you, make it happen. Yes, a sitter costs money, but you are still working. If you need time and space, take care of yourself and do just that! You got this! Motherhood is hard as AF and anyone who says otherwise is lying. There are some days where I very well want to just rip my hair out and I’m the queen of emotional eating, but the only thing we can do is figure out what we need and make it happen. You got this! We are definitely all in this crazy shitshow of motherhood together :)

  • Shivani
    Reply

    Right there with you! I hate feeling like I’m half-assing my mom job and half-assing my paying job…and then feeling guilty for not feeling grateful for this situation in the first place! Ah!

  • Lisa Neuberty
    Reply

    You are not whining. I went back to work 8 weeks after the birth of each of my three children. I tried to stay home once but I really needed the social input from working outside the home. My husband and I always worked opposing schedules to accommodate not having to put our kids in daycare. That said, staying home to raise your kids is not for the faint of heart! It’s hard work and someday your littles will appreciate it. Keep up the good work. :)

  • Megan
    Reply

    You’ve got this, momma! Maybe it’s a good time to reevaluate your game plan for the fall but also remember how far you have come since Tommy entered your world! This is just a season and it will pass. Best of luck xo

  • Kristen Sweeney
    Reply

    Ooooh I’ll second that wine, cheese, and choclate! I honestly feel your pain it’s impossible some days!!! My son is 21 months and I’ve succumb to the play yard setup in my living room with TV when I want to workout or do anything for myself, it’s really helped. Venting is healthy and some days we are closer to our best selves than others! Keep up the good work!

  • Staci K
    Reply

    Holy smokes you got that right! I have a 15 mos little girl who is a rocket of energy and she comes to work with me most days of the week (I work in family business and my office environment can permit it) but wow does it make for a lot of juggling to care for my kid and do a full time job, after which we head home for the day and continue momming until bedtime. I’m currently typing this from my treadmill and after I’m done cramming in some exercise I will keep frantically packing since we are moving on Saturday. Thanks for sharing, I love when people are comfortable sharing their non-Insta selves and out themselves forward in their real life insanity!

    • Sarah
      Reply

      Yeah -- I almost hit delete but I’m so glad I didn’t. That’s awesome you can bring your son to work but I can’t imagine the struggle!! Good luck moving.

  • Sarah
    Reply

    I love it when bloggers do honest posts. It’s so hard to balance it all and I find that my type A personality doesn’t help the situation at all. I am currently a SAHM to two little ones and I understand the struggle.

    Keep posting real, relatable posts!

  • AliQ
    Reply

    I found that for a few weeks after my daughter weaned, I really struggled with keeping it together -- Her usual source of comfort was gone so she was adjusting to her new normal, and my hormones were allllll over the place. So, give yourself some grace for a few weeks -- it takes your body and mind a while to adjust. And, wine helps. So much. I also work from home but I work a 9-5 job from my home office -- and it is 100% impossible to do with my 16 month old. We send her to daycare a few days a week and family watches her the other days -- When she was a newborn it was easier for me to work while she slept and sat in her swing, but now it is impossible and i just have to laugh when people ask why I pay for daycare when I work from home.

    • Sarah
      Reply

      Interesting!! I ever thought of that but it makes total sense!!! I used to have downtime where we cuddled. Now we don’t. He will still cuddle with nick but not me. Very interesting and thank you for sharing!

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