I NEEDED HELP AS A WAHM

Audrey Gelman, CEO of women-focused shared workspace business The Wing, graces across the cover of Inc. Magazine’s October issue. The cover makes her the first “visibly pregnant CEO” to be on the cover of a business magazine, she shared on Twitter.

“You can’t be what you can’t see, so I think it’s so important for women to see that it’s possible to run a fast-growing business and also to start a family,” Gelman told “Today” of her decision to do the photoshoot with Inc.

She added: “My hope is that women see this and again feel the confidence to take greater professional risks while also not shelving their dreams of becoming a mother and starting a family.”

I wish I saw this ten years ago. I really do.

It’s funny how our 25 year old selves make career decisions for us that can determine our job trajectory. If you listen to How I Built This, you’re also aware that you’re never too old to start over.

In my late twenties, I thought my current job as an online content creator was the perfect job to work from home part time as well as be a stay at home mom.

Fast forward 5 years and two kids, and this summer I really felt like I was no longer cut out for that stay at home parent role.

I feel like I sabotaged my own business from scaling in my twenties because I wanted freedom and flexibility. And if I were to be a stay at home mom like my own, I thought, I’d still be able to make money without paying for child care! We can all collectively laugh at this thought now.

I look at the cover of Inc. and wonder what I would have done different if I saw it back then at the start of my career, the start of social media essentially. Would I have moved to LA? Would I have rented space to film videos or hired full time employees?

I’m sharing this because I feel a connection to those of you who read my blog and I know there are many of you who have similar feelings. It’s tough today to be a woman. Our roles have changed dramatically since our mothers. We have so many opportunities to compare ourselves where as just a couple decades ago there were few outside our direct communities.

I feel very blessed to have two beautiful boys, a supportive partner, a home in a safe neighborhood and a job that I love. This summer however, I realized I wasn’t cut out for being a stay at home mom and craved more time to dedicate towards my work.

While I wish I had an inspirational cover like this in my 20’s, as I mentioned, you’re never too late to put your best foot forward and make a change.

When a friend of mine no longer needed her part time nanny, I jumped at the opportunity to hire someone that was already loved!

I hired a nanny and it has been a game changer.

I now have someone who watches Connor 4 days a week from 9-2 while Tommy is mostly in school. She picks up Tommy and brings them both home. I have all day Friday to spend with both kids and after 2 pm M-Th. It’s not full time but it’s the most time I’ve had since the Spring when I was pregnant with Connor and Tommy was doing daycare 3 days a week for 6 hours each time.

I am way less stressed out but I do feel added pressure now to grow and expand SarahFit.

I also miss preschool pick up. I get how working moms must feel.

There is this false halo when it comes to motherhood on social media. How do these mommy bloggers do it all!? I’m talking about a full face of make up and hair, a perfectly healthy baking afternoon activity, snap a perfect picture at school pick up, cook a delicious dinner for kids but have time to go out to dinner with girlfriends and then watch a favorite show with a glass of wine to wind down???? ON TOP OF CURATING A PERFECT INSTAGRAM. Some of these people have nannies you never see. Some have other experts create these delicious recipes and they just take a quick picture. Don’t google “mormon mommy bloggers” if you don’t want to go down a rabbit hole that will waste time you don’t have.

I’m telling you that I hired help because I want to be transparent that I have someone helping me do all these things and I can’t do them on my own. I tried to do it and I struggled. My mental health was beginning to take a toll. It’s ok to want to lean in and it’s ok to lean out. This is my decision and it was made because quite frankly, my boys deserve better than what I was able to provide trying to do both.

That being said, I’ve been pretty fired up listening to How I Build This podcast all summer and now I’m ready to take things to the next level and this cover of Inc. has made me realize I don’t have to wait until the kids are in school full time to do this and I don’t need to feel bad about hiring help.

I NEEDED HELP AS A WAHM

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5 Comments

  • Bobby
    Reply

    Sarah your blog is one of the best by far! My girlfriend loves cooking recipes from your blog and uses you and other bloggers like yourself as motivation for us to eat healthier! I’m also very grateful I found it’s helped me stay in shape and I would to anyone looking for results!

  • Katie
    Reply

    I love this and I love you. I agree its hard to be a woman. I feel like I’m judged no matter what decision I made. I’m a stay at home mom amd truly wouldn’t change it. Do I wish I had more alone time? Ofcourse but I don’t want the job and schedule I had prior to kids. As they start school I am sure I’ll start doing other things but right now raising my young kids is my job. Its a job I freely choose and a job I feel blessed to be able to do.

  • chava cohen
    Reply

    Good for you, Sarah. My kids are older now and childcare is no longer an issue for us but I look back at the toddler and school-age years and I know I should have gotten more help. Of course, I thought I couldn’t afford it but the mental-health price that is still an issue is way more costly. You dont need to justify your nanny and you dont owe anyone an explanation for getting help. There’s no man who goes to the office that ever has to justify having an assistant or receptionist. Not sure why childcare needs an explanation.

  • Holly
    Reply

    Been struggling with this! We used part-time daycare for more than 3 years. In June we pulled her out, had the summer home and now as of September in preschool two days which is a total of 12 hours of work time for me. I get fired up about work and want to do more than that, but we decided family first right now with the knowledge in two years she will be in school for a longer period of time. I have other days where I don’t want to touch my work! Definitely not easy to want to do both (parent and work) and find the right balance. Also, I do think some of those bloggers have school aged kids. I mean then you get like 7 hours a day five days a week right?! Crazy town.

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