Ok, so sometimes I think I am all-star mom, but more often I feel like a rookie.
Tommy doesn’t have a nap schedule. I often go for long walks so he falls asleep for longer than 20 minutes. I know it’s not proper sleep training but luckily, I live in a beautiful walking city.
He is technically sleeping through the night, starting with a large 8 hour chunk but he still wake up every night between 2 and 4am. He then wakes up at 5 am. And then at 6:45, or 7:30 if we are lucky.
I have a sleep training book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I want to read it in full, but I just haven’t found the motivation. There should be a Cliff Notes version. I mean really, who writes a 600 page book for sleep deprived parents? I did gloss over the first 2-3 month stuff but haven’t had the time to check out months 4-6 yet. I wish I could implement the suggested tactics but since I haven’t read the book, I guess I’ll make do with putting him to bed sleepy but awake. The first tip in the book. He does eventually fall asleep when I do this so I think I deserve brownie points at least for that.
He falls asleep after he’s rolled on to his stomach 3 or 4 times and cried for whatever reason. Is he frustrated? Is he just tired? Or uncomfortable? Probably all three. I gently roll him back onto his back and finally he falls asleep. On his stomach.
WHAT!? He sleeps on his stomach? What kind of horrible parent am I? He surely will get SIDS, right? Right?
Ever since Tommy learned how to roll from his back to belly a week ago, he has been sleeping on his stomach. It freaks me out because of all the SIDS information I was taught.
They say sleeping on your stomach is OK at this age because if they are strong enough to roll, they are strong enough to lift their heads if their air passage is blocked.
Once he is asleep, I often stare at the monitor to see his chest moving up and down. I also stare because I think he’s so cute. I didn’t think I’d be one of those parents.
I feel his forehead when I drive if I can’t see him to make sure it is still warm. “Is he breathing?” I always wonder. He always is, but what if that one time I don’t check and he isn’t!?
I’ve had two sleep scares. One involved me not properly securing his car seat. I will never make that mistake again. The other was discovering his cold arms in the middle of the night – due to a fan I put on him – not because he stopped breathing.
But still, for that split second I saw him slumped in his car seat or felt his chilled hand, it felt like my heart stopped beating. I shook him both times, waking him from a deep sleep. He was fine. But I wasn’t. I just had a mild heart attack.
Will the heart attacks ever go away? I know my baby needs to sleep but every time he does, I’m plagued with this fear that he might not wake up. For that reason, I don’t mind that he doesn’t sleep 12 hours straight. This way, I get reassurance throughout the night that he is alive and breathing.
In another month, I think I might mind. I know I’m supposed to wean him off the night feeding but for now, I don’t mind the 5 minute interruption as long as I get to sleep at night.
In the mean time, I’ll keep my energy levels up with Black Tea. Share your refreshingly honest moments on social media using the hashtag #RefreshinglyHonest.
I partnered with my friends at Honest Tea for this confession, I mean blog post. I hope this brings you some level of comfort if you’re unsure of what you’re doing or winging it like me.
