What Keeps Me Up At Night

I used to get stressed out about YouTube comments, upcoming races, work or more recently, my son’s safety. I don’t know if it’s being a mom, getting older or this past damn election but stress and anxiety have been weighing me down.

I can do the things that are routine no problem. Wake up, go to the gym, drop off Tommy at babysitting, answer emails, etc. But when it comes to creating a new workout for my blog or thinking up some healthy lifestyle post, I just feel apathetic towards my blog niche. I’ve been having trouble paying attention to my deadlines too, which is very unlike me. The stress feels like a major road block in my brain right now, preventing me from thinking about anything else. The problem is, I feel like I have no control over the issues bothering me and there is little I can do to solve it.

Last night, Nick asked what was stressing me out and it felt good to say the things out loud.

I told him that I felt bad for the undocumented families who have been here for over a decade and their children who don’t know any other country. The uncertainty they must feel right now upsets me.

Similarly, I’m upset for families who rely on Obamacare, especially to support with costs to help their children from diseases like childhood cancer or autism or other special needs.

My labor and delivery bill was $29,000. That number shocked me. At least most people know when they are about to have a baby. A serious illness or car accident however could put someone under insured into financial ruins. Over 22 million people have health insurance through Obamacare.

I’m also heartbroken thinking of all the families that have been displaced by the wars in the Middle East, especially Syria. The images of the children on beaches, walking hundreds of miles to safety or covered in black from a near by bomb are heartbreaking. Are we really going to deny these people a safe place to live? Are we really going to create a muslim registry as reported yesterday?

And the environment??? We only have one planet. The damage done cannot be reversed and it’s terrifying that people who still don’t believe in climate change could be responsible for protecting it.

I am unapologetically pro choice. Agree to disagree, don’t read my blog, don’t care. I’m pro choice. If you really want to get into it, go troll someone else’s blog because I won’t respond. I can’t stop thinking about women who live in states where abortion likely will become even harder to get. It’s 2016.

I am also scared for our country. How many supreme court justices will be replaced over the next 4 years with backwards views?

I was willing to give Trump a chance. I’m still willing but the fact that it has been reported that he only wants to hire Trump loyalists is frightening. We literally laughed Sarah Palin out of public office and now she is a contender for a top position!? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK PEOPLE.

I can’t control these things so I shouldn’t stress out about them. But writing them down here helped me a little bit. I went to spin this morning. I loved editing my Dry Shampoo Challenge video – mainly because it was shot before the election and I look so happy! I enjoyed donating to Planned Parenthood in Mike Pence’s name.

Another bright spot in my week has been seeing all the images of children with signs saying that if our generation builds a wall, theirs will tear it down.

I was recently told that my life likely will be better than it is now in 4 years with Trump as president. I don’t agree but if that is true for arguments sake, why do I feel so bad for the majority of people that won’t be the case? Perhaps the mother in me has brought out the compassion that I can’t seem to ignore.

I’m hoping that I can fall asleep again not worrying about these things but I have a feeling it won’t be any time soon.

Share the Post:

Related Posts