I wanted to blog today about how our Potty Training is going but I’m going to wait and do that tomorrow. Today, I wanted to get something off my chest. But first a little announcement…
YEARS ago, I met Sara Haley at a fitness event in Boston. She was teaching, I took her class. The goober that I am, I introduced myself. I’m not sure why I felt the need to tell her I was a blogger but I did and she’s remembered me since! Lol. Anyway, fast forward like 8 years, she has 3 kids and is a successful trainer on the west coast and specializes in prenatal and postnatal fitness. I always look to her for modifications in both of these areas. She is a true expert.
We are going to be doing an Instagram Live tomorrow, Friday, March 9th at 11 am PST, 2 pm EST on all things prenatal fitness and a little postpartum but mainly focusing on prenatal ab workouts and what is safe to do, moves to avoid and how to avoid getting a diastasis recti, if possible! If you have a question for us to answer, shoot me a direct message on Instagram, @SarahFit and we will answer. If you miss the live chat because work and life, it will be up on Facebook later in the day to check out.
That being said, I love working with other like minded successful women. It is International Women’s day and I wanted to take a minute to really understand what it actually means to celebrate IWD.
#1. It’s important to support other women. We love to take each other down. We see each other as threats and are constantly comparing our successes. A wise trainer once told me,
There is plenty of room at the top.
This has always stayed with me and I’ve tried to think of it daily. The success of one woman does not mean the failure of yours. I’ve been on many blogger trips, and all but one have been more than happy to support one another through tagging on blog posts and pictures on social. We comment on each other’s stuff. I try to comment on all my blog friends’ sponsored Instagram posts because it’s my way of supporting them. I often don’t see them in my feed these days, thanks Instagram, but when I do, I comment.
#2. International Women’s Day is to celebrate the social economic, cultural and political achievements of women and also renew our commitment to continue working towards gender parity.
In Massachusetts alone, women make up 49.3% of the overall workforce, but represent 67.5% of the low-wage work force and currently least likely to have paid time to care for a new child or a sick family member.
As a mother, I can’t imagine not being able to take time off after having a child. I took about 2 weeks off because I work for myself but I was able to be home with Tommy and continue to work from home. I didn’t need to pay for child care. I could nurse him and care for him. Not working meant no pay check but at least I had/have Nick as a support system.
Instead of uploading a picture to social, reach out to your local legislators and ask them to support one of the many measures that directly effect the well being of women like supporting strong paid family medical leave, the right to birth control and affordable healthcare.
Admittedly, I never took much to these issues until I felt them become threatened for my fellow females and now I’ve become a raging feminist which I rarely talk about on this blog.
#3. Instead of saying you support women online, go out and do it! Shop small and local at a female owned business or visit a local gym owned by a female. In Boston alone, you can shop at Olive’s & Grace or Follain. Go take a class at one of the boutique studios around the city owned by local women like Recycle Studio, BTone, Xtend Barre or Pure Barre on Newbury. You can also grab something to eat at a female owned restaurant. In fact, I already visited Flour once today and grabbed a delicious yogurt parfait. Joanne Chang is one of the owners and one of the most inspirational local women I’ve met, always supporting her community and super kind.
Be sure to check out Flour’s new Whole Grains menu items which include the double chocolate cookie made with rye flour. It’s my favorite.
#4. If you’re going to talk and say you support other women actually do it.
It’s easy to say you support other women and tag them on social media but to actually support them is another. If a female helped you in your career, give them a shout out today and let them know! If there is someone that inspires you that is up and coming, tell them too!
(edited 3/8 9 pm) If you read this blog post earlier, you know that this used to be a longer paragraph sharing my feelings about feeling hurt by a friend in the business. I hate confrontation and instead of reaching out to this person directly, I blogged about it. Nick told me to call them last weekend and I didn’t because I honestly get really anxious thinking about confrontation. Choosing to air my grievances on International Women’s Day probably wasn’t the best choice and I acknowledged that I probably would delete this blog post by the end of the day and here I am editing it at 9 pm after having a phone call with my friend. While I may have been hurt, my actions here on the blog hurt her and that wasn’t my intention. Here I am talking about supporting women on IWD and directly contradicting my own advice. Pregnancy hormones are no joke and while not an excuse, I admittedly am much more sensitive and spontaneous these days.
I think my lesson today that I learned is not to be afraid, to be honest and open with how you feel but avoid passive aggressive actions, even if it takes you out of your comfort zone. Women often are afraid, especially in the work place, to be confrontational. If you don’t speak up, nothing is going to change and you will continue to feel the same way only bringing more bad vibes upon yourself. May it be a male or female boss or a coworker, speak up.
If the way you’re addressed upsets you, tell them. I had someone message me on Instagram that she felt frustrated that male doctors were addressed as Doctor but she, a fellow doctor herself, was addressed by her first name. If you feel like a male counterpart is getting preference over clients or classes, reach out to your boss to see what you can do to improve or add more classes/clients to your schedule.
We must continue to work together as women to advance our successes.
Lastly, everyone is fighting their own battle. I shared a little one of mine above. Being International Women’s Day, don’t assume that every successful female you see online has everything figured out and has a perfect life. Social media is a highlight reel and you should never forget that!
Don’t forget to tune into tomorrow’s live chat.
I think it supporting other women comes from insecurity and since social media and being an influencer is a newer and ever changing business platform then maybe there are even more insecure people in it because you never know if your blog, instagram, video etc will make it? Social media in general feels like one big advertisement or keeping up with the joneses sometimes. I work is a male dominated field and it’s typical for women to feel like there isn’t room for other women, but I believe that is starting to change. Interesting post and some actual substance amid other iwd posts.
Thank you! And agree with the above keeping up thing. It’s a weird field to be in when you don’t know what’s next or what you should be aiming for, ya know?
It is good to hear that you speak about the actions that one can take to support other women. There is a lot of fluff out there, so it’s always refereshing to see an online “influencer/YouTuber/businesswoman talking about a real commitment to support other women. Thanks and Happy International Women’s Day!
First, I truly do appreciate your authenticity! I also relate to the feelings you shared here in many ways. It’s easy for someone to say they’re all for/supportive of female friends, peers or colleagues, but the level of genuine and active support of those fellow women doesn’t mirror that in actuality. In the past couple years, I’ve educated myself and “gotten over” the stereotype of who a feminist is, and can now say with confidence that I am one (who wouldn’t be?!!!!). Lastly, I relate to how you choose to avoid confrontation confrontation and would rather harbor anxiety/hard feelings than cause conflict. I hope your former peer does read this by chance and you can have an adult conversation and move forward supporting one another.
Jonathan Paula says
As a Boston/NH based YouTuber since 2007 -- I’ve definitely thought a lot about the “what if” nice to California. Ultimately, I feel like I’d probably be in the same place now (financially, family) -- but maybe with a more exciting night life (re: any). Personally though, I don’t regret it -- this is where I want to raise my daughter, and moving 3,000 miles for a stay at home job seems silly to me.
Good on you for at least recognizing and sharing these doubts though! I think that’s an important part of a healthy mind; not always carrying the mental burden to yourself. As for that women who spurned you? The best revenge is to live well, so keep being you 🙂
I am a huge fan! I think I brown the reference in #3, and it has always bothered me how she has never acknowledged her true start.
Keep doing what you are doing! I think you are a true inspiration.
Great post! I think I i know who the reference is to for #3, and honestly, I think it’s pretty motivating how grounded and REAL you have been on your blog and as an influencer. It’s tough not to wonder what if no matter what in life and i totally get that. California is great and all but we need an east coast fitness gal who keeps it real and does toddler workouts at home or on the Boston streets, instead of the Cali version of the girls working out in their skimpy bikinis with perfect hair in all fitness videos during some amazing sunset number 105 at the beach (eye roll) while throwing giggle fits.
I loved this post! Thank you, thank you! As a female gastroenterologist in Boston (and living in your neighborhood), I sense your frustrations. Gastroenterology has 8-10% females. I’m very fortunate to be in MA where we tend to be a tad more progressive but still often find myself frustrated. I’m often called by first name while my male colleagues are always doctors (coming from staff and patients) but more importantly I often have female colleagues telling me I’m intense. Intense because I care and state my thoughts. I’ve also been told that maybe a male colleague would be better as such or such. These are also the females that deem themselves supporters of other females. I’m still early on in my career but can’t help to feel frustrated. So thank you for this post. Not everyone will like it but I’m grateful that we are finally having these conversations.
Please don’t delete this post! It’s perfect!
I’m 93% sure I know who you are talking about and I’ve followed along her journey for years just as I have yours. To be honest, I find you more relatable and more interesting. Happy International Women’s Day and keep being the type of woman the rest of us are proud of! ❤️
I love this post!!! I followed you after the trip linked in #1 and have been such a fan of yours ever since. You are a true breath of fresh air in a land of never-ending smoke and mirrors. Because you have your wits about you, I know you recognize the irony of women who don’t TRULY support other women pretending to today for the sake of IG tags and buzzwords.
This was a great post. I know who you are referring too. I can underand your feelings. Know that you are more relatable to. It’s hard not to think “what if” in life. I think you are awesome. Be true to yourself!
I’m glad you got that off your chest! It’s better to say it and get it off of you. Btw, I know who you’re talking about as I’ve followed you way back when you were the face of DietHealth on YouTube. I’m really sorry that you’ve been feeling such thing for so long. I know you don’t mean any harm and I really hope she remembers to thank you (by supporting you and your business) in the near future.
I recently just started my own business and days like today gives me so much strength and hope!
Best wishes to you Sarah! I’m a huge fan and will always support you!
We usually say “it’s lonely at the top” so i love your “there’s plenty of room at the top“ quote. It’s also much easier to get there with the support of each other. We need to remember that. All 365 days of the year.